I pulled this from old posts, local notes, and the stuff people say like they are joking but then get extremely specific about.
Calling them rules feels wrong. Rules imply somebody understands the sea cows well enough to give instructions, and that is how you get a guy with a flashlight yelling moo at the lake.
So: learnings. Patterns that keep showing up.
1. real accounts put them in the middle, not by the dock.
2. quiet water matters more than dark.
3. do not call back, play cow sounds, tap the boat, etc.
4. land cattle often react before people understand what they are hearing.
5. they are not aggressive, but large animals in dark water do not need malice to hurt you.
6. do not count them out loud. argue with the poetry if you want; practically, if you are counting, you are staring too hard.
7. one alone is worse than a group because herd animals alone are looking for something.
8. pale shapes get treated as calves in the old notes.
9. lights make them sink. motors make the whole thing worse. old routes may explain why they show in the same middle water.
10. chasing proof is how people come back with frog audio and embarrassment.
Posting here before it becomes another screenshot floating around without context.